Monday, February 14, 2011

Is love blind?

Today is valentines day and this morning my daughter asked the following question on Facebook: "If love is blind, then why do so many people buy lingerie?" I sarcastically commented that 'lust has 20/20 vision'. Well, Valerie's question wasn't as sarcastic as my answer which got me wondering... is love really blind?

The idea behind 'love is blind' is that love doesn't see our faults, that it ignores them and sees only good in us. But that isn't love, it's positive thinking. I think of my wife Gail. We've been married since September of 1993 and are more in love than ever - but not blindly. She knows where I'm weak, what scares me, what makes me sad and what angers me. She knows I'm a picky eater, she knows I need to lose weight, that I don't brush my hair and that I NEVER tuck in my always wrinkled shirts.

She knows all this - and more - and she loves me anyway. She'd probably like it if I had a more imaginative appetite and kept my hair a little neater and even lost some weight but she isn't in love with those things, she's in love with who I am, with my character and as it happens, sometimes that isn't easy and it is not blind.

So if love isn't blind, what is it? I've seen/heard lots of comparisons; higher than a mountain, deeper than the ocean, like a rose etc... but check out these thoughts:
  • "Love is patient." Not talking about easy patience here, like the patience of a parent as their child falls while learning to walk - but difficult patience. Patience when it is not deserved, but given anyway.
  • "Love is kind." Wash the dishes, vacuum, mow the lawn, write a poem, laugh together, share a hug for no reason.
  • "Love is not proud." Admit you're wrong, admit you have needs, don't gloat when you're right, meet the needs of the other person even when it's outside of you own comfort zone.
There's more to it but this is a good sample of how the Bible defines love, and an important part of this list is that everything requires conscious effort, a choice to do them... and that is love. Like I said, Gail loves me in spite of my failures, and I her. Our love is passionate, it's strong, filled with joy and that's not because our love is blind, no, our love has perfect vision. We have pain, we fight, we hurt but our love endures through it. By choice and smart behavior.

Maybe you're not a Bible reader, but the rest of the definition is amazing, go check it out, you can find it in First Corinthians chapter 13. It's easy to find in a Bible or online at this link:
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%2013:%204-7&version=NIV

So is a 'sexy nightie' an appropriate gift? That's for you and yours to discover for yourselves, but what is sure is that true love sees beauty wrapped up in that outfit no matter what anyone else sees... because love has perfect vision.